THE TROMBONE GO?
I reached into the shoebox that had a slit cut out on the top for the students to drop in their anonymous questions. I had been doing this for many years and actually looked forward to answering their questions. The first question I pulled out asked: What are sex toys? I was hoping for a less loaded first question like why do girls have periods.
Each year I tell my students that I will answer any question as long as it is legitimate and not personal. So I did answer the question about sex toys and how do lesbians have sex and what is oral sex and why does sex feel good. Eventually I learned how to do this without the eye twitch.
my students taught me
how to teach
If you’re reading this back cover, you obviously have read the title of my book. And if you read the title then you must be thinking to yourself: “What is he talking about?” How is it possible for students to teach the teacher how to teach?
They spend 5 years in college securing their teaching certificate, then several months student teaching in a teacher’s classroom. This is followed up with district training throughout each year and after-school weekly learning sessions. So let me explain how this title is both appropriate and accurate.
With A Chance Of Laughter
Now I Lay Me Down To Rest
Now I lay me down to rest,
This, dear Lord, is my request.
I’m young now and I’d like to know,
Will there be rivers when I grow?
When I’m a man will there be air
That I can breathe without a care?
Will there be trees and mountains high?
In teaching this curriculum to my students, I personally am at an even more embarrassing situation since my last name is Seaman. In order to eliminate the giggles and laughter when I talk about semen and sperm, I use the following strategy: I write my last name on the board with the definition – a sailor. I then write “semen” on the board with its definition – a fluid that carries sperm. I tell my students they now know the difference between these 2 words and I will give them 20 seconds to get all the laughing out of their system and then become mature students for the duration of our sex ed lessons. This approach has worked for me every year!
One year I had the question when a man and a woman are having sex why does the woman scream out or moan? Obviously a question which required some delicate preparation to answer. Before I had a chance to answer, one of my male students immediately started moaning and went into his impersonation of Sally from the deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally”.
One year a 6th grade student wrote the following question: “Why does it hurt when they get the baby out the China?” When I read the question on the 3 x 5 card I didn’t know what the student meant. Luckily, the student was willing to answer my question by replying, “It is too embarrassing for me to say the word vagina so I prefer to call it the China.”
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